I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
