Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
