Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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