How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
