I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
