i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize