Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
