Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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