On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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