Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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