Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he shaved USA in his pubs
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
