I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
