Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
