so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
