I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize