We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize