Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
