just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
