Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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