we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
