Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
