when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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