I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
