I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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