weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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