Umm I'm too high to move.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
