A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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