he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize