small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
