dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
