It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
