And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
