im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
