I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
