Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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