i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
