Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
