So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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