This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
