Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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