gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize