I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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