Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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