Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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