i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
