i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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