i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
