got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
