so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
