guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
