i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
