How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
