And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
