If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
