Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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