i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
God, I missed his penis.
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