Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
