I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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