She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
