Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
