The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
