i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
