We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
