Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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