Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
