thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
