I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Don't make out with my wife yet
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
