hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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