So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
