We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
