The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize