I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
